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Click on the image above to read the private diary of  Dave Waymer: a fictious character based on the lives of people I have met.

WARNING
Mature Content!

Dachshund's Love Letter

My Dearest Pritzi,

It has been six whole days since you went to gram pa's house.  Six days of emptiness. Oh how I miss you!  I miss your morning barks at the newly fallen pine cones and the way you eat your kibbles under the table.  Somehow barking at pine cones is not the same without you.  And I will bite any dog who thinks he can eat kibbles under the table ... at least until your return.

Oh sweet Pritzi, you are the BOW to my WOW.  Your are my morning, night, and afternoon nap.  Oh how I miss you!  I jumped up on the chair this morning and looked out the window.  I saw the paper boy.  I tried to bark at him but it only came out as a weak growl.  I am weak without you my love.

Do you remember how you used to lick my ear just before nap time?  It would help me to sleep better.  I haven't taken a nap in four days!  I suppose I won't be taking one today either.

I dug up that bone you buried last year.  You remember?  It's the one you took from Snoop.  I still remember how you growled politely and he refused to give it to you.  You had every right to take it from him.  Who did he think he was fooling?  I sleep with that bone at night, it reminds me of you.  Snoop just looks at me ... stupid dog.

I try to get into the Leader's room and sleep with her like you used to, but she won't let me stay in there for long.  I mark the territory and all, but she growls that "No, no" thing and puts me in the back yard.  Don't she know I already marked that area?  I think she misses you too.

Did you see the moon last night?  I sometimes sit up at night and look at the moon and wonder if you are looking at it to.  Sometimes I sing to the moon.  I don't do much singing because the Leader growls, "stop it!"

Some intruders came by a couple of days ago.  You would have been proud of me.  I bit both of them!  Right in the ankles!  I would have done more but the Leader shut me in our room again.  Why does she keep doing that?  We can't protect her shut in that room all day.

I can't wait until you come back. We can lick paint together and run around acting stupid until the Leader puts us in the backyard.  The humans across the street are in the their front yard a lot lately.  We can bark at them until they leave.  They have that funny smelling dog with them sometimes.  Oh how I wish I could just bite him!

I miss you a lot my love.  Please hurry back.  The Leader will be back soon.  So I have to hurry and mail this letter before she finds out I can do it.  Love you much!

Yours always,
Odie


P.S.

I almost caught one of the cats.  I pulled some fur off him.  I'll save it for you

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